How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
