I accidentally had phone sex last night
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
