she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
