How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
