how can u be prego again
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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