But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
