So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize