last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She's like a pop up book from hell.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
