Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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