Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
