just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I did not marry a roomba.
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