So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
