I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
