Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
