Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic

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(913): View more from Kansas

the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me

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(530): View more from California

the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it

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(516): View more from New York

What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?

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(513): View more from Ohio

Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..

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(609): View more from New Jersey

TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help

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(409): View more from Texas

I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.

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