You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
