Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
