I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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