what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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