you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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