I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
