Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
