there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
How external is "for external use only"?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
