I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
