I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
