So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I feel like a drive thru vagina
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize