I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
