What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
