You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
