and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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