So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
