the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
