May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
