I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Its about making memories worth repressing
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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