Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
