I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize