Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
