i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize