Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
