ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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