Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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