Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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