Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
try to milk me bitch
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