dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
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