Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
