To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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