you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
