brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
