Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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