I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm passing your future prison.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
