No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
