we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She swung at the pinata with crutches
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
