Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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