Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
