That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
