Soap is not a condiment
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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