Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
