yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
