Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
zippers are such a cool invention
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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