HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
