He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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