Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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