I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
