I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Life is so much better after having sex.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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